IS IT RICE? Honda Civic from summer '08

IS IT RICE?
That is the question.

One of the most blatant examples of rice we've ever seen was this Civicus Constructicus spotted last summer near Waco, Texas. This vehicle is a prime example of the sad measures some people will go to for attention or acceptance; it in fact makes some of the cars in The Fast and the Furious look like family sedans.

A few things to note before we start in on the fun.

1) There are so many things on this car that scream RICE that it was impossible to number the offenses and have a nice little diagram for you. You probably won't need them though, as there isn't much on this car that ISN'T rice.

2) The guy was apparently doing construction on a home. To keep people from accidentally running into his car (not like anyone couldn't see it due to the highlighter green), he actually put CONES around it!!!

Enjoy.

We have here a Honda Civic. Right there, you automatically start out in the borderline rice range (no offense to the number of "respectable" Civic owners who don't violate their cars). In case you couldn't tell already, he put it in giant white letters across his windshield. That's right, I have a HONDA CIVIC, folks, be verrrrry afraid!!!!! (1 offense)



Sorry about the pic quality; I was driving. But nonetheless, it's still clear enough to point out a number of things right off the bat:
* The car is neon green (2nd offense)
* The wing, which you'll soon see is just as tall as, if not taller than, the car itself (3)
* The fire extinguisher in the passenger column (4)
* "TOYO TIRES" across the hood (5) diagonally (6). I won't count the hood itself rice; it may actually be carbon fiber. There's your one mulligan.
* Cones (7); I should count it three times since there are three of them.


Moving along to the back:


* Fauxtezzas (8).
* Air Jordan sticker in the back window (9). What this has to do with his car, only he knows. We'll get to the crappy side graphics on the next slide.
* Non-matching gas door, probably "painted" (or lack thereof) to look like the shiny aluminum ones (10).

The guy lucked out that the cone is probably in the way of a giant fart can, so I technically can't count it. Of course, he also might not have any exhaust pipe or muffler at all!


Exhibit 3, the side:


* Two brightly colored "sponsor" stickers placed randomly (11, 12). Learned not to do this in my own ricer rehab session.
* Giant "Blue Trogdor-Slaying Knight That Dissolves Into Shreds And Has Sword Coming Out of Face" decal (13).
* Ghetto Vents (14), on top of broken? LED side blinker (15), directly above randomly placed (16) backwards (17) non-functioning scoop (18).

We zoom in a little closer:


* Shiny washer vents, probably LED (19)
* Chicken wire front grill (20)
* OH NO!!!! What do we have here? Did you scrape your little bodykit (21) on the ground and break it? (22) Looks like you're gonna have to spend some hard earned cash to get that fixed instead of doing that single wiper conversion you were planning on!


So there you have it folks, I count TWENTY-TWO things that are wrong with this automobile, and that's only what I could see from driving by it a couple of times. Not like anyone needs a final verdict, but nonetheless:

IS IT RICE? Civic at 8/3/09 Monday Night Meet

IS IT RICE?
That is the question.

We have for your consideration this sky-blue Honda Civic, Civicus Runnerus Crunchicus. Said suspect rolled in late to the Monday Night Meet on August 3 thinking he could get in all incognito and stuff, but thankfully the real IncoG5nito was there with camera in hand to warn others how NOT to come to a meet.





The list of offenses:

1) The most obvious thing wrong with this jalopy is the Bodykit that seems to not match the completely flat, shaven doors. Now a bodykit does not necessarily make a car rice, and there are non-ricers who can pull the look off well, but a careful inspection will reveal many bumps, bruises, cracks and scrapes all along said bodykit.

2) The insides of the main grille and the grille on the bodykit have been lined with Chicken Wire.

3) There is a severely tilted Ricense Plate molded into the bodykit, and it looks like it's gotten a bit of a lift from the back bumper hitting the pavement repeatedly. And is it just me or did the guy just cut a hole in the bodykit with a box cutter, shove the whole thing in there, and then just leave the slack hanging there?


4) Fart Can smoke... don't breathe this.


5) The Completely Blanked Out and Shaven Trunk Lid might work if professionally done and it goes with the flow of the car, but I'm not feeling it here. Maybe more ugly points than rice points here, but to each his own I suppose.


So there you have it, folks. Sky blue with a touch of poo, enough dents and dings for two, and a license plate that's chopped and screwed. Altogher now, children...




Found a ricer you'd like us to dissect? Drop me a line at incog5nito at g mail dot com and who knows, we may use yours on the site! Please, no parodies.

IS IT RICE? (apologies to Will it Blend)

In the "Is it Rice?" segment of Ricer Rehab we will look at examples of notoriously "riced-out" cars seen throughout the state. We will start with some of the classic findings from the original Rehab forum and then proceed with new discoveries as they are found. Each ricer will be meticulously picked apart and its components described in order to help YOU not to make the same mistakes on your ride. Finally, just like a well-blended broom handle, the car will be handed its inevitable verdict.

Found a ricer you'd like us to dissect? Drop me a line at incog5nito at g mail dot com and who knows, we may use yours on the site! Please, no parodies (cardboard, 2 ft. diameter fart cans, etc.).

IS IT RICE? - Mistubishi Eclipse

IS IT RICE?
That is the question.

Up for examination today is this ricer-riffic specimen, Eclipsus Tricoloris Noisicus. We think that at one point that this car was a Mitsubishi Eclipse, but it has been violated to such an extreme that we can now only call it "The Punk of Cell Block 4A".





Please observe with me the SEVEN major offenses put forth by said junker:



1) Please note the horrendous White Bodykit that wraps the car in a random "streamlined" pattern. It seems to stick out way too far in the front, but maybe that's just because it's about to fall off? Wait, what's all that yellow stuff? Did they glue it on?!

2) We next direct your attention to the Fart Can that is partially concealed by Exhibit 1. As you can see, placement of said Fart Can is directly responsible to one of the most serious ricer offenses of all time...

3) DIARRHEA!, produced by Exhibit 2, all over the left hole of Exhibit 1.

4) Please observe the Mismatched Door Handle... well, actually it matches the body kit. Note also that the passenger door handle matches the original paint, and thus doesn't match the driver's door handle. Did the guy try to remove his door handles like the Ghetto Cars and FAIL, or did he just want to make random parts of the car match his "mods"? The world may never know.

5) The Silver "Extra Sporty" Mirrors with Matching Mirror Mount Covers match each other, but nothing else on the car... except for number 6

6) A Bullhorn Spoiler, which is not only painted gray, but is either a) missing paint, b) was bondoed, or c) all of the above. Great for that "Shark look".

7) Finally, proof that this travesty has officially been branded a Ricer... the Exotic Uninterpretable Sticker, also known as the "Ricer Tramp Stamp".

Needless to say, this guy has done much more damage to his car with the money he makes working at Target than improvements. The least he can do is go to Lowe's and spend his paycheck on a can of house paint and throw it on this piece of poo... at least that way it'll be mostly one color.




Found a ricer you'd like us to dissect? Drop me a line at incog5nito at g mail dot com and who knows, we may use yours on the site! Please, no parodies (cardboard, 2 ft. diameter fart cans, etc.).

The RKC "Ricer Dictionary"

A list of terms outlining exactly what RICE and its components and symptoms are, for those who are uneducated on what rice is, need a refresher course, or those who are wondering if they themselves might be a ricer. Enjoy.


Rice - a cheaply modified car, usually an import, that sounds five times faster than it actually goes. Usually has an enormous spoiler that makes the car look like a shopping cart, and an exhaust "tip" about 6 inches round also known as a "fart can" or "fart cannon". The term can also be used as an acronym for "Racing Inspired Cosmetic Enhancements".

Jared called an LS1 with LS1 stickers and neons 'rice', then the Bone Daddy's Girl called Jared 'rice'. And the rice food chain continued.


Ricer - 1. A car that has been tastelessly modified, synonymous with above Rice.
2. The owner of said car.


Rice Boy - The driver/owner/mating partner of a riced out car. Will dump his girlfriend because she takes away from his time with the car. Is usually under 17 years of age, but the occasional Mid-Life-Crisis Rice Boy has been known to play on urban highways as well.

Who's that peeling down the street at 3:30 in the morning? Oh, must be Rice Boy and his POS '92 Civic.


Riced Out - Adjective phrase describing a car that has been tastelessly modified, i.e. made into a Ricer.


Boy Racer - Colloquial term for "Ricer" used in Great Britain.


Chick ricer - An otherwise attractive girl who drives, or is seen driving, a riced-out automobile; such action automatically cuts her rating on the "1-10 scale" in half.


Fart Can (Fart Cannon, Salad Shooter) - a long, round, cylindrical device attached to the tailpipe of a car that makes the car look like it has an expensive exhaust system, but in fact only serves to amplify the noise. The resulting sound strongly resembles human flatulence, hence the name Fart Can.

Since Robert put that Fart Can on his Honda, no one wants to sit near him in class.


Domestic Rice - a car manufactured in the United States that has been riced out. Usual victims of "domestic rice" modifications are the Chevrolet Cavalier and the Ford Escort.
Jason turned his Sunfire into Domestic Rice by giving it fake hood scoops and a 2-foot-tall spoiler.


Rice-A-Roni - see Domestic Rice. Probably not a coincidence that it's called "The San Francisco Treat".


Rice-Mart - Related to Rice Paddie; a store that caters to the desires of a ricer. Rice-marts almost always sell some or all of the following: oversized tachometers, bright vinyl graphics, stickers, fart cans, faux carbon-fiber, spinning hubcaps, and oversized cone-shaped air filters. A few common Ricemarts are AutoZone, Pep Boys, and Walmart. The unfortunate dilemma of Rice-Marts is that many of them once catered exclusively to dedicated private mechanics and true gearheads.


Rice Paddie - a shop that rices out more cars than it actually modifies well.

Wings 'N' Thangs Customzzz is the biggest rice paddie around. All that's missing are the bamboo cone hats.


Rice & Beans - any vehicle displaying the owner's last name in huge silver cryptic letters on the back. May contain fringe around the headliner, Chevy logo-shaped holes over the quarter panel, and decals of both a Crucifix AND a naked girl silhouette randomly placed anywhere on said vehicle.

Mr. Intow spend $25 on the red, white and green paint job for his Rice & Beans.


Ricense Plate - the placement of a large hole in one’s tailgate or liftgate, usually at a 20- to 30- degree angle to the bumper, for insertion of one’s rear license plate. Such hole is usually overlit with neon or LED's, or may feature an obnoxiously lit frame around the plate itself. Incidentally, this feature is seen almost exclusively on above Rice & Beans.


Ricer Fly-By - Any time a ricer floors it and goes around you (or attempts to go around you). Said fly-by may occur:
1) after losing to you
2) in an attempt to get you to race him
3) to simply annoy someone who actually knows how to drive a car


Ricer Flash - Three or four flashes of the hazard lights during a ricer fly-by.


Ricer Kazoo - A tiny whistle sold on eBay that a ricer can plug into his exhaust pipe to emulate the sound of a turbine spooling.


Ricer Speaker - A tiny speaker installed under the hood to emulate the sound of a blow-off valve.


Ricer Call - An actual blow-off valve. The sound usually attracts ricers that believe their cars are better.


Rice Light - A large and obnoxiously bright shift light, usually attached to a very large tachometer, that is installed in a vehicle with an automatic gearbox.


Ricer Eyes - Tiny colored LEDs that are attached to the windshield washer nozzles.


Ricer Mentality - proof that being a ricer is 50 percent what one does to his or her car and 50 percent how one acts in it. While one usually doesn't see one without the other, Ricer Mentality can be displayed by someone driving a bone-stock or even a mildly modified vehicle that isn't necessarily rice in itself. This phenomenon extends beyond the realm of the automobile and can be displayed by anyone who attempts to show off what he or she has to anyone within eyeshot or earshot - when in reality, said object of affection is of lesser quality than that of his "audience".

Jake showed major Ricer Mentality when he cranked his blown 8 inch Jensens and floored his muffler-less Camaro across the lot.


Ricer Wire - Colored or painted spark plug wires.


Diarrhea - Lovely brown smear caused by soot from exhaust out of a fart can (or, in this case, 'shart can') that ends either at or just behind the bumper. Best noticeable on white cars.


Ghetto Spinners - Plastic wheel covers with fake plastic spinners attached.


Hopper - A riced-out vehicle that has a problem with wheel hop on a launch.


Human Rice - A person whose wardrobe, mannerisms, extensive talk about things he knows nothing about, and general sense of cockiness indicate that he may be, or have potential to be, the owner of a riced-out automobile. See also Douchebag.


Indecent Exposure - Any undercar lighting in which the tube itself can be seen from a standing or driving point of view when lit, a la the black Hondas in The Fast and the Furious.

You wouldn't let your girlfriend go out indecently exposed, so don't let the neons show on your car. Cover that s*** up!


Lice - short for "Luxury Inspired Cosmetic Enhancements". Examples include fake vents, commonly three "vent" stickers in front of the front doors, to mock a luxury car; unnecessary track lighting on an SUV to mock a Lincoln Navigator or other luxury SUV; and putting the front end of a luxury car or truck on a regular pickup (a Lincoln Mark LT front end on a Ford F150).


Rattle Canned - Shoddy or horrible paint job on a fiberglass body kit or any other part of the car. So named because it is almost always done with a can of spray paint.

Mike Rattle Canned his bumper six different shades of blue and got overspray on his white rims.


Speed Holes - Random holes cut in fiberglass body kits, usually explained away as a "brake cooling method" or "extra air intake."



Two-winger, three-winger etc. - Corresponds to the number of fugly spoilers on a ricer. Sometimes said spoilers are stacked on top of each other.





Uniwiper - Feature of a car that has had the driver's side windshield wiper removed and the passenger wiper repositioned to cover some of the resulting missing range; done to make the car look "exotic".

Why a Ricer Rehab blog?

Since 2005, the website Ricekiller.com has been home to thousands of car enthusiasts from around the world who have one goal in common: to unite all involved, whether owners of domestic cars or imports, against the problem of "rice" that has evolved and expanded rapidly over the past decade.

For those who may not be clear on the term, a "ricer" is NOT "anyone who owns an imported car". The term "rice burner" indeed started as a reference to certain cars built overseas, but the term as it has evolved today signifies any car that has been poorly modified, whether import or domestic, and/or is driven with the purpose of antagonizing other drivers on the street whether by purposely bad driving, drawing unnecessary attention to oneself with noise, or driving with the attitude that one can beat any other car on the street.

In 2006, the "RKC Ricer Rehabilitation Program" forum was created with the purpose of rehabilitating "ricers" into proper car enthusiasts. Partially, the forum encouraged ricers desiring to change their ways to come and get help; in addition, the forum was also home to members who found examples of such "riced out" cars and posted pictures and (usually humorous) descriptions of them to give an idea of how far some of these owners will go for acceptance or to simply stand out.

In 2009, after it was felt by a majority of site members that the forum had slowly drifted off course and lost its purpose, a site-wide vote was held with the result approving its removal in an effort to take the forum in a different direction. Shortly afterwards, I opened up a MySpace page as a temporary home for Ricer Rehab until I could further decide on what to finally do with it. Which brings us to this little corner of the Web.

The RKC Ricer Rehab Blog was created for those who are still interested in its existence and in preserving RKC's stance against rice. It is desired that we can continue to rehabilitate ricers and to get them to see the errors of their ways, show examples of what exactly RKC members mean when they call something or someone "rice", and to give existing RKC members a place to get a good chuckle out of just how far some of these individuals will take things without attacking those who actually wish to receive help.

So whether you're a ricer wishing to "grow up" into a responsible enthusiast, a former ricer who's learned your lesson, or simply a fan of the original Ricer Rehab on RKC, this site is for you. Enjoy :)