IS IT RICE? - Mistubishi Eclipse

IS IT RICE?
That is the question.

Up for examination today is this ricer-riffic specimen, Eclipsus Tricoloris Noisicus. We think that at one point that this car was a Mitsubishi Eclipse, but it has been violated to such an extreme that we can now only call it "The Punk of Cell Block 4A".





Please observe with me the SEVEN major offenses put forth by said junker:



1) Please note the horrendous White Bodykit that wraps the car in a random "streamlined" pattern. It seems to stick out way too far in the front, but maybe that's just because it's about to fall off? Wait, what's all that yellow stuff? Did they glue it on?!

2) We next direct your attention to the Fart Can that is partially concealed by Exhibit 1. As you can see, placement of said Fart Can is directly responsible to one of the most serious ricer offenses of all time...

3) DIARRHEA!, produced by Exhibit 2, all over the left hole of Exhibit 1.

4) Please observe the Mismatched Door Handle... well, actually it matches the body kit. Note also that the passenger door handle matches the original paint, and thus doesn't match the driver's door handle. Did the guy try to remove his door handles like the Ghetto Cars and FAIL, or did he just want to make random parts of the car match his "mods"? The world may never know.

5) The Silver "Extra Sporty" Mirrors with Matching Mirror Mount Covers match each other, but nothing else on the car... except for number 6

6) A Bullhorn Spoiler, which is not only painted gray, but is either a) missing paint, b) was bondoed, or c) all of the above. Great for that "Shark look".

7) Finally, proof that this travesty has officially been branded a Ricer... the Exotic Uninterpretable Sticker, also known as the "Ricer Tramp Stamp".

Needless to say, this guy has done much more damage to his car with the money he makes working at Target than improvements. The least he can do is go to Lowe's and spend his paycheck on a can of house paint and throw it on this piece of poo... at least that way it'll be mostly one color.




Found a ricer you'd like us to dissect? Drop me a line at incog5nito at g mail dot com and who knows, we may use yours on the site! Please, no parodies (cardboard, 2 ft. diameter fart cans, etc.).